How to Make Plans During Uncertain Times
“We love you, Sarah.”
I could hear the fear in my mom’s voice as they wheeled me past the tiny waiting room in the Neuro ICU on my way down for the craniotomy.
Up to that point I hadn’t been scared. Everything had happened so fast that I didn’t have time to be scared: being whisked to the hospital, the history-taking and neurological tests, the big decisions to make, all while trying not to throw up into the plastic bucket beside my hospital bed.
My parents, who’d flown in from BC, snuck in smoothies since the pizza sauce on overcooked noodles that the hospital was serving made me more nauseous.
My boyfriend was working the phones dealing with the insurance company (I’m Canadian but I was in New York when the sh*t hit the fan...thank F for my travel insurance).
My friend Michelle absconded from her high-powered corporate law job for the week to bring me copies of In Touch magazine and read me David Sedaris stories until I fell asleep.
It was a scary time, for sure. But I don’t remember being truly scared in those frantic few days after I was admitted to the hospital, waiting for surgery.
That was like being in the eye of a hurricane.
The hardest part was the aftermath.
The hardest part was not knowing.
What was wrong with me?
Would it happen again?
Will I live to see my next birthday?
Will I be able to have kids?
Will I be permanently blind?
I didn’t know the answers to any of those questions. And that made me unbearably anxious.
I’m sharing this story because I’ve noticed that those same anxious feelings have been cropping up for me lately.
Although we’re doing pretty well here in British Columbia, COVID cases are starting to spike again.
My stepkid’s off to high school in six weeks.
Can she actually go to school?
What happens to our co-parenting plan if someone gets sick?
What if one of my parents gets sick?
When will I get to see my sister and brother-in-law and niece in California?
I don’t have the answers to any of those questions. And that makes me anxious.
I know I’m not the only one.
For those of us who are fortunate enough to be safe and healthy, the uncertainty is the hardest part.
We are barreling towards a strange, unpredictable, and—quite frankly—frightening academic year.
If you’ve been around here for a while, you’ll know that I call those first few weeks back the “September Face Punch.”
But that seems a bit...flimsy for the current moment.
In moments of anxiety, I find a lot of comfort in making plans. Even if making plans seems laughable in the face of so much uncertainty, I find it tremendously grounding.
When I was recovering from surgery and dealing with all of those anxious thoughts, it calmed me to make plans to rebuild my strength, prepare for my next surgery, and eventually return to “normal.” And yes, all those plans needed adjustment as circumstances changed, but it did help to ground me.
I’ve been thinking about what I can do to support you to prepare for the upcoming academic year.
Whether or not you find comfort in planning, like I do, having the academic equivalent of a Disaster Kit is probably not the worst idea for the coming year.
So, for the entire month of August I’m running a series of grant writing events to help you prepare for what’s to come.
Dates are still being solidified, but here’s what’s on deck:
August is Research Grant Writing Month
Grant Planning Workshop
Grant Writing for Researchers one-day workshop
Roadmap to your R01 masterclass
NIH K award two-day workshop (likely early September)
Check back for more details!